We congulate you on your acquisition of this finely-crafted reality system. You have
chosen a modern and well-balanced reality, made exclusively from time-tested materials,
and skillfully developed by honoured craftsmen. We hope that your reality will provide you with many years of enjoyment and pleasure.
User's guide.
It has been our company's policy not to offer guarantees on our products, as this
can lead to self-contradictions in many realities for which 'guarantee' is a logical
impossibility. Reality breakdown is a serious problem, particularly for those whose
reality has served them well for a long period of time. In many realities there is
an emotion akin to 'stress' which is often felt to an extreme degree upon the slightest
flaw in their reality. In an effort to minimise this problem, we offer you the
following guide for use if your reality is breaks down or is any way damaged.
(1) Don't panic. Panicking may not be a meaningful concept in a damaged or completely
broken reality. Inconsequential worrying may be useful : if it is still possible
to worry, then your reality might not be too seriously damaged. However, if even
a slight agitation is meaningless then you are strongly advised to employ an emergency
reality as your original reality is likely to be beyond repair.
(3) Ask the nearest sentient (or communicative) being for a loan of a spare reality
(if he/she/it/none of the above/all of the above has one). This concept may seem
a little strange at first. Keep in mind that if reality has broken down then such
concepts as 'spare reality' as quite possible.
N.B. Never ask for a loan of a spare reality while your current one is even partially
working - the other being may not be able to understand what you mean, and the ensuing
confusion can damage an otherwise perfectly adequate reality.
(4) Take your reality to the nearest repair station. This too may seem a strange
concept at first, but likewise, if reality has broken down then 'reality repair'
is as meaningful as anything else. Note that this means that it is almost impossible
for reality to break down entirely and irreperably - provided that 'reality repair' becomes
meaningful after 'impossible' and 'irreperable' have become meaningless, then
your reality will be able to be repaired. Sometimes it is advisable to wait to service a reality until 'money' and 'weath' become meaningless, as this way the serviceman
won't charge you in any meaningful way.
(2) It might be advisable at this stage to read any instructions which came with
your reality, as these often include some helpful hints for situations such as this.
Some manufacturers tend to include their instructions within the reality itself,
disguising it in some very unsubtle way. These are often