PROBABLE Prediction 1999.26

Submitted 30 Jan 1997 by Andrew Burke
[email protected]

Prediction:

Small toaster-shaped aliens will visit the earth. They will not actually be able to toast anything, they can simply act as though they wish to toast things. This will drive most humans insane as they force the small aliens to eat pop-tarts and eggo waffles(tm). Humans, being the small-minded creatures that they are, will become angry when their toasted morsels don't pop up. Sticking their crazed fingers into the small "toaster aliens," millions will be killed by electric shock. Why the aliens are electrified will be unknown, some will suppose it has something to do with the size of Bill Gates' head. The most ironic aspect of this prediction is that all the aliens will really want are large pieces of wheat bread.

Objective measurement:

Have millions of toasted-morsel-wanting humans been electricuted by small toaster-like aliens?

When:

January 1, 1999

Why:

I have been in contact with the toaster-like aliens for the past few years. Secretly I supply them with mass quantities of wheat bread. In exchange for this, I get a complimentary toaster each year. Although it is tiring work, and the reward is less than meager, I enjoy my conversations with these aliens. They have informed me that they will come to earth in the year 1999, but they do expect there to be some casualties. Only those people who realize that these aliens are not, in fact, toasters will be spared.

Further comments:

If it looks like a toaster, make sure it's not an alien!